I have no-one to scream for help to so sometimes I just find isolated places to scream the word to myself.

For a while now there have been snippets of somebodies oddly compelling inner thoughts turning up in my RSS reader via IrishBlogs.ie. They come courtesy of ‘Texts I Never Send‘.

It’s a blogspot blog, and there are no author details, so the posts themselves are the only clue as to the purpose of this quietly industrial factory of random thoughts.

The name would suggest that the site was set up as an outlet for SMS text messages that the author would never send to the originally intended recipients, but seems to have now become his way of directly communicating with his star-crossed lover who he cannot be with.

I enjoyed reading down through the posts and trying to give context to the latest post, but as I read I became slightly alarmed - there is a dark side to this blog. If it is real then this person is not leading the life they wish to, and would seem to be in quite a lot of anguish at times. I’m inclined to think it’s genuine, just because the emotions feel very real.

Here are some nice posts:

Today I passed the last place where we kissed. It was empty.

I liked it when you took my hand across the dinner table the other night and squeezed it. It made me feel taken care of.

The first text you sent me this morning made me smile from ear to ear. I knew it was true.

Here’s a transitional post:

There are times when I think you’re growing tired of me and my situation.

And here are some dark posts:

The person I used to be is inside me screaming to get out. He keeps kicking and screaming harder and harder the older I get.

In my profession I’m seen as someone succesful, smart, even someone to be looked up to. I spend some days wondering how I’m going to manage to take the next breath.

My partner portrays me as a questionable parent and a nightmare to live with.

So, is it real, and if so is it a plea for help? Or is it a new way of telling a story - a writer’s game?

Thoughts?